Justifying our BS…we are all guilty of it.
People don’t need life coaches; they need quality friends that have permission to call them out on their JBS.
A typical sentence justifying BS usually begins with, “I only…” One very common example of JBS is when a person says “I only smoke when I have a drink.”
I was once dating a girl and I caught her smoking. She told me she only smokes when she has a drink. I let it slide because I was young, dumb, and unable to spot BS like I can now. After a while, she started having a glass of wine at noon. It wasn’t that she wanted a glass of wine; it was to justify her smoking.
Sometimes we are so good at justifying our BS that we don’t realize that we are doing it. Sometimes we rely on our BS so much, that we acknowledge it, but look right past it.
I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I have other vices, but I would give them all up to be able to eat myself into a coma every night. The greatest high for me is eating until I’m so full that I not only hate myself, but I hate the people around me. Then I get to struggle to make my way to a semi-comfortable place to lie down and pass out. It’s the best sleep ever!
I understand how unhealthy this is. I have been doing a good job regulating my caloric intake. I only turn to food when I’m stressed out. I don’t know how long I have been doing this, probably since I was a child.
I recently found myself in a good mood, but I forced myself to relive bad memories, listen to songs that reminded me of good times just so that I could miss them, and think about all of the bad that has happened to me just in order to justify having large late night meals.
I had to call myself out on that. When I’m aware that there is food in my fridge late at night and I know that I’m not hungry, just greedy, I call myself out on it.
I have an irregular sleep schedule. I stay up until 4:00 a.m. and I usually climb out of bed around 10:00 a.m. I tell myself that I’m most creative and productive at night. My late nights make me happy. I recently realized why. My demons come out at night. I consume 75% of my calories between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m.
One of the closest people to me, Alice, noticed how bad I am at night and called me on it. She suggested that I go to sleep before my demons awake. I took heed, and for the last week I’ve been forcing myself to go to bed at 9:00 pm.
I’ve been waking up at 5:00 a.m. and immediately going to the gym. I work out and get hours of work done before I normally would have been awake. I realize that my “creativity” was, in reality, just eating late night meals and writing blogs while “The Office” reruns play in the background.
Being aware of flaws and bad habits is the first step to fixing them and making improvements as a person.
In regards to my training, I don’t fight with my hands up. When I’m called out on it by a coach I say “I only have my hands down because it helps me balance with my unorthodox movements.
I’ve lost fights because of this. Losing a split decision against Brazil to qualify for the Olympic Games, could have been avoided by having my hands up. I paid a price for my JBS. I have to eat the truth.
I have surrounded myself with people who support all of my decisions, as statistically unlikely as they are. But, make no mistake; they will call me out on things. Ed Latimore, my co-host on Awesome Talks Podcast (available on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, and iHeart Radio) has been one of those people who call me out with no mercy. I love that about him. He doesn’t allow our friendship to cloud his ability to call me out.
When I say “calling someone out”, I don’t mean cutting them down. My coach, John Brown, will ask me if I’m training hard. He already knows the answer, but I still say, “You know it!”, or whatever other nonsense I come up with to get out of that conversation.
He has never called me lazy, or yelled at me for a lack of training, even when my attention is diverted towards something other than boxing. He simply pokes the fat on my sides and doesn’t say a word. This is his way of calling me out. I understand that. I need that.
The most supportive person in my life is Matt Mays. When I look back at our ten year friendship, I’m curious as to why he has never snuck into my bedroom to smother me in my sleep.
He is my biggest enabler. If I have a crazy idea, he will support it 100%. I’m aware that he knows some of my ideas are crazy, but he knows that I don’t need the truth. I’m simply looking for someone to help me lie to myself.
There have been times when he sits me down and tells me the messes that I must clean up in my life. He tells me when I’m in the wrong. He tells me when I need to reconsider decisions. He tells me when I’m too distracted and getting sloppy with my boxing. And, he is the first one to alert me when I’m gaining weight and getting out of shape.
The people around me are my “life coaches.” I remove cancerous friends from my circle so that I can trust the people around me. When they called me out and I don’t agree with them, odds are I’m JBS’ing.
I’m the product of many mistakes and a lot of help from a lot of people. “Awesome” is just a collaboration of all of the advice and help I’ve received over the years.
Two quotes that I hold dearly are:
“You are a sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”-Jim Rohn
“Don’t tell people your problems. 90% of the people you tell won’t care and the other 10% are glad you’ve got them.”-Lou Holtz
I agree with the latter quote, but I think your top 5 will care. So select these 5 people wisely. You are blinded by yourself and need guidance through your own darkness.
The people around you are the people that will help you. How often do you evaluate who the people around you are?
-Cam F Awesome
Editor- Missy Fitzwater