You Are Awesome…So Be You
It’s no secret that my mind works a little different than others. I believe that we are all weird but the majority of people follow trends. Everyone wants to be a part of group, it’s natural.
Even emo/goths go out of their way to look like the others that don’t like the others. It’s a society of “societal outcast”. It’s built off of the collective thought of not liking groups.
Collectively as a society we are terrified of being excluded from a group. We support religions and politicians that we doing actually believe in for the comfort of acceptance. We strive to belong in a tribe so badly that we will compromise our morals.
It bothers me that this goes unacknowledged. As I curse and have a drink with teachers and principals of a school and a quality guy, yet if I were to curse on twitter and have a pictures with alcohol in the background it will hinder my chances of being hired by that school.
Here are my problems with this: children can see when role models are disingenuous. If I’m afraid that my child may grow up and turn into what I am, I should change who I am and not just hide it.
Why do we value perception over reality? If I were to make an inappropriate joke at a bar in front of 20 peers, I will get laughs. If I said that same joke around the same 20 peers in an office, most wouldn’t laugh and the ones that did would be judged.
Why is something inappropriate at work but appropriate outside of work? Is it because inappropriate is bad? Wouldn’t mean the person is bad if their inappropriate? The terrible things in your head is what make you who you are. Be yourself or be better.
Attorneys that dress like used car salesmen because they hate having to wear the silly monkey suit so they give minimal effort is also weird to me. Wear whatever the hell you want. The suit doesn’t guarantee better quality “lawyering”. But they are afraid that a client would come in and wonder why they are in sweat pants and the favorite comfy hoodie. I would be completely cool with my lawyer dressing casually. (As long as he isn’t wearing a fedora)
We must we have a professional persona and an actual persona. I’ll respect a honest person that is open with their ‘questionable’ morals over a liar that hides their true self to appear pristine. Even Mother Teresa wasn’t perfect. We should become less judgmental of others in order for others to be less judgmental of us. In the eyes of society, we are all pieces of shit behind closed doors.
If you took 100 random people and had them anonymously write their secrets on a piece of paper and put it in a pile, you would read letters from 100 “terrible” people. I know married swinger couples that will publicly judge promiscuous people.
I know a Mormon girl that preaches the good word. She is not married yet she is pregnant. Baby in tummy, she goes around judging others for the burden she’s carrying. I don’t judge her for this. Why? I don’t give a shit about premarital sex. I don’t know her situation but I can only assume that she wants to be a part of a community so she preaches beliefs that she doesn’t believe to belong.
I know girls that are 100% that type of girl that finds it necessary to say “I’m not that type of girl.” Why? Why are we afraid be ourselves? Is she embarrassed to be herself because she doesn’t want her peers to look down on her? Why don’t these girls embrace the lifestyle they secret live? If it makes a person happy and doesn’t hurt other people, do it!
We are all guilty of not being who we truly are because we may not fit into a group. I’ve made the conscious decision to let go of what people think. If you don’t love me for who I truly am, you don’t actually love me.
I encourage others to be themselves. Do not be confined by societal norms. Make your own norms. Be a “weirdo” if you are truly a weirdo. Once you decide to let go and be yourself, life becomes much better.
Ed Latimore’s book basically break it down beautifully.
Cam F Awesome